Is there something you'd like to do but never get to? Maybe it's something small, like paying the bills. Or maybe it's something big, like starting a business. Writing an ebook? Emailing that person to collaborate on a project? Starting a blog? Maybe it's something that you routinely encounter that makes its way onto your to-do list, day after day after day.
Photo by spaceodissey.
When it comes to blogging, I never have a shortage of ideas. I can think of all kinds of cool things to do—websites to start, tweaks to make, series to write, etc. The problem is, many of them I never execute.
Why?
Usually, I blame it on a lack of time. And that's legitimate, but it's not the whole story.
Many days I think, "OK, today I'm going to finally tackle that project." And I never do.
I noticed something recently…
The other day I had a few hours of free time ahead of me. This was going to be the day I finally made good on my project to-do list. But then suddenly, I got hungry. Rather, I suddenly had the urge to go find something to eat in the kitchen (I wasn't really hungry).
Red flag!
Bottom line? I'm scared. Scared to fail, scared that other people will think it's a dumb idea, scared that it will be a waste of time. I'm just scared!
For me, heading to the kitchen is my way of avoiding that which scares me. It's like my scared-ness tells me I'm hungry. Even if I'm not. Which I'm usually not. I'm just avoiding.
So, no more of that nonsense. Whenever I find myself in the kitchen at odd times, I'm trying to ask myself what I'm afraid of. Somehow, recognizing the trigger helps me push my way through it.
What about you? Do you have any habits that are triggered by fear, anxiety or something else? What's your avoidance mechanism of choice? Maybe it's surfing the internet? Checking email, Facebook or Twitter? Chatting? Making a phone call? Grabbing a snack like me? Pinterest? (My brother-in-law calls it Sinterest. LOL!)
Push through, my friend! Tackle that thing that's been looming.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, commit to work on your project for 15 minutes. I bet you can do anything for 15 minutes. And many times, 15 minutes is just enough time to create enough momentum to keep going.
Go!
Amy, this is a very timely post and I needed to see it right now! I have something I need to I have continue and I have been avoiding it. I have lots of behaviors that I use, but they all point to the same thing. Thanks for the push!
Are you talking directly to me? lol Absolutley get what you are saying Amy. Reminds me of a saying, "Whatever I resist persists". The saying itself is so annoyingly true I loathe it's reality.
One of my things is "baking" however with everything that I am pursuing, "baking" actually ties into all of it too. I do tend to gravitate towards doing the things I enjoy to avoid the "work" of what I need to do.
Subconcsiously I thought it was fear of failing. I am beginning to see that it maybe more a fear of success and the ability to handle it (or not).
Baking, Writing, Facebooking(new addiction), Dreaming, Creating along with all other important life matters is a work in progress. I will find the balance and I can still enjoy myself along the way.
Thanks Amy.
p.s. It is so way convenient to get your updates through facebook now that I am there alot…..lol
Chocolate! That's my weakness. if I'm reaching for it I'm either avoiding something I ought to be doing or forcing myself to do it with chocolate as my reward.
I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately that I've just felt paralyzed to move forward. I think I've put too much on my plate and now I don't know where to start. The holidays always does this to me. I tend to eat to avoid as well (or surf the net mindlessly).
I find that lists help. If it's written down, all nice and concrete and in my face, it's much harder to avoid the task and it gets the tasks out of my head, relieving me of some of the stress associated with all that needs to me done. Not that that stops me from trying (and often succeeding!), I am a top notch procrastinator. I eat too to avoid, and watch stupid "must see" tv shows that I scarcely remember once they're over.
I do the same thing but with me it's cleaning. I think those "distractions" are the hardest part about working from home.
Yep. My avoidance habits are all the ones you mentioned for all the reasons you mentioned. Thanks for reminding me to not let fear keep me from going for my goals of launching a new blog and writing an ebook.
Ha! Reading this made me write three new blog posts. Thanks for the push!
ESP for real. How'd you know Amy?
I've gotten a lot better about this lately! I made a list of things I had to get done yesterday, little things that I've been putting off. I got all but one thing done, which I am doing now (yea, while reading your blog lol). My one thing I've been reallyy avoiding doing is making my schedule that I vowed to make after reading your book… and working out. Both of which I have a goal to finish by the end of this weekend (including adding working out into my new schedule). I graduate Friday and it's time to get organized and become a productive adult! Haha, not like I'm not one already. My blog is doing great, my son is growing like a weed, and I'm getting married in March. I'd say I'm doing pretty well – but I can always get better. 
Thanks for this post Amy!
Great post! I finally tackled something this year that I've always wanted to do, but always avoided, and I have to tell you, it feels awesome!! I feel so much better. I can't believe I put it off for so long, especially because it was something fun, something just for me.
I sometimes don't share a new project I am into with anyone as I am afraid that I might not continue with it, or I might fail. But after a few months, I introduce it to others. Being anonymous has its own advantages!
Setting a kitchen timer for XX number of minutes is a good way to eat that elephant one bite at a time.
When I'm mired by the grim reaper of failure, I remember that not doing anything is *still* a choice, albeit a wrong choice. Failure comes in many forms and, one of the worst imo, is the failure to make a poor choice resulting in lack of progressive activity toward my goal.
Were you looking over my shoulder? Wow this post really hit home, thanks for your 'REAL' talk . I am 'GOing'!
Wow Amy – you are doing extremely well for someone who has been "avoiding" things !
I realized that my desire to do something perfect, kept me from doing it at all…so, I have pushed myself hard this year to do things even if is not the way I want it or like it for eg my blog… I did not want to start blogging untill my blog was perfect…but then realized how silly this was and now I am happily blogging with an incomplete blogroll, a fuzzy header etc etc…. I KNOW these are not-to-do with your blog and it was HARD for me to do ..but it wil get there one day… I just think of what I would have missed out if I did not blog all the time I was busy tweaking it…
The only good thing of "sinterest" – is that it kept me a little out of the kitchen…since I can't eat and pin with the same hands….so, for the rest….I will roam in the kitchen while deciding what to do next !!! You are NOT alone.
Awesome! When I'm avoiding things I blog…and I blog a lot.
It's so much fun, though, especially my latest post about Educational Christmas GIfts, which I worked on instead of attending to our homeschool…. Usually I don't skip the homeschooling, but only things like laundry or, even better, worrying.
I suppose it's important to avoid certain things (such as worrying), and it's also helpful to have our avoidance activities be useful in themselves. Someimes it's better to go with the flow, but direct it.
Annie Kate
Totally spot on Amy!!! Now I am going to get off your wonderful blog go eat my bullfrog I've been avoiding this morning!!
God bless – Maggie* who thinks you are waaaay too thin to have spent any time at all in the kitchen!
Like you, I have zillions of ideas for blog posts. The things that hold me back are legion: this might be so dumb it chases readers away, if I pre-post this and something more relevant comes up then it will be hasslesome (great word, yes?) to reschedule, does anyone care about this, how does this fall into the rule of "great content", how will this sell my art, will this be embarrassing in a week or 2. Maybe I place too much importance on the forever-and-everywhere nature of the internet.
I also get so bowed up about the infinite number of possibilities that I am unable to prioritize and often just go draw. But that's a good thing – I have 200+ drawings to do for an upcoming book! Wait, maybe I should be promoting the book, writing about it, learning to use Adobe InDesign – sheesh. Think I'll just go knit for awhile.
I like to add things to my to-do list that I know can be easily done. This way I can start crossing things off and feel a sense of accomplishment. If I only put the "big" stuff on it, then crossing them off won't happen as frequently. Once I get a couple things crossed off I just want to keep going!
I needed this today… no, I REALLY needed this today!
Yikes!! It's so true, we find unconscious ways to avoid doing what we believe is truly important. I'm with you. And sometimes it helps to even set a timer for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes. It's amazing to discover what one can accomplish in so little time! And that is empowering and the impetus for staying with it. Thanks!!!
Oh Amy, this is so for me today… and I so needed this encouragement. Thank you♥
Fear is such a strong and somewhat overpowering emotion isn't it?
Loved the encouragement
Thank you!
Ack!!! Trying to guest post!! Writing, asking, putting myself out there!!
I loved this Amy . . .
"Bottom line? I'm scared. Scared to fail, scared that other people will think it's a dumb idea, scared that it will be a waste of time. I'm just scared!"
I always talk about this with clients, friends, and family. People don't like to admit they're scared. This is why they'll use softeners like, "I'm just stressed." Stressed means scared.
And the core thing that being scared brings is shame. Shame is destructive. If someone can get themselves to, as Dr. Albert Ellis so fondly refers to as, "Stubbornly Refuse To Be Ashamed Of Anything," they'll start expressing fully who they are and letting the light of their potential shine.
People like you, Amy, are making this possible one person at a time. Keep up the great work.
Oh, shame is a doozy! Thanks for the interesting connection there.
I read this the other day and I had to come back and leave a comment. I tackled two big projects since reading this post, I'm like a new woman!
Woot!
I find that I have so many ideas swirling around in my head that's it's hard to focus on which project to start first! After reading this post, I decided to make a list of my eBook ideas–there are 8! 8 eBook ideas running through my head (not counting at least 2 more that would be free for my subscribers), and I want to do them ALL now! I also recently started editing eBooks on the side as well as working as a VA for another blogger (both of which are going well), and I'm keeping up with growing my own blog and writing newspaper articles/columns on the side. Any advice on how to just focus on one project at a time–knowing that it's OK to set the others aside and that you don't have to rush to do them all at one time?
I think a lot of it is just an act of will and discipline. (I'm not very good at this.) I try to remind myself that I'll make a lot more progress if I do one or two things well than if I do a lot of stuff half-baked. Set goals, "ship" dates and plans of action. Keep a journal handy to jot down notes and ideas as they come to you so you won't forget them while you're working on the task at hand.
Hi Amy, I'm so thrilled to find your blog. I've been thinking of doing something just like yours for a while now, but thank goodness I found yours yesterday and I realise I now don't need to – there finally is a "go to" blogger who has it all – which you do!
Great blog, awesome information – I'm off to get your e-book, and I just love that you did that, and then blogged about it honestly and so prudently. It is ever so helpful, really hard to get this kinda basic quality information in one spot. So well done mate.
I'll be putting your banner on my page today and telling people about you all the time, and of course, I'll be following your posts like glue!! and FB (isn't that a new phenomenon in the blog world, now everyone has one – I cant be bothered yet! – A bit like this weeks pertinent post of yours!! – and how awesome is PINTEREST!! yikes – addictive yes? Love that you have a PIN IT button – I gotta get me that!!)
Hi Annie, so glad you stopped by! And yes, Pinterest is definitely dangerous.
ps: Don't know why my photo didn't show up in your comment name box??
ALSO, any tips on backing up (saving) a blog???
YAY thanks luv!
Make sure you have a Gravatar which is attached to the email address you use when leaving comments so your picture will show up. Also, here's my post on backing up your WordPress blog.
Hi Amy, do you mean my hotmail email? I'm assuming I do. I'll check that. re: backup, I don't have a wordpress blog, does that link apply to blogger blogs too??
thanks luv!
Ah, no, the backup plugin works only on WordPress. Sorry.
Yes, the hotmail email address.
You're so right, Amy.
So, I've been putting off emailing an advertiser who hasn't paid me.
I know….so silly, but I just felt awkward and uncomfortable, and I think I was afraid of hearing that she wasn't happy with my work for her or didn't think I'd brought her business…..
Anyway, I finally sat down and wrote her an email and sent a new invoice and guess what? Just like that, she paid me.
So, thanks for this.
My goal for 2012 is to make a daily list and tackle what I'm avoiding first.
Sometimes I would rather eat anything than "eat that frog."
I can totally identify with what you are saying! thanks for posting this up amy!
Glad it was helpful!
I start baking. Even if we still have baking in the house, and don't really need it.