I mentioned before that in February of 2010 I attended my first blogging conference. I was not new to blogging at the time. I had been blogging almost 6 years by then, but I was a closet blogger. Blogging was a solitary outlet in my toddler-filled world.
I didn't talk to other bloggers. I didn't network. I didn't comment on other blogs. I didn't participate in any other form of social media. I wasn't interested in making money. I just wrote what swirled in my head and hit "Publish." That was it. I enjoyed and appreciated the few people who were kind enough to read my blog and respond. I also really enjoyed learning the mechanics of blogging.
But by 2010, things were changing. My baby was 2—no more nursing 24/7 and waking up 4-8 times a night (I'm not sure where people find those good-sleepin' babies! 
). Getting pregnant again didn't seem to be on the horizon. We had made some huge life changes that afforded me a bit more time.
It was then that I decided to be a more purposeful blogger.
When I went to that conference, I felt like the biggest nobody in the world. Whenever I mentioned my blog, I got blank stares. I think my average daily pageviews were in the double digits at that point. I talked to many bloggers who were making solid part- and full-time incomes and had been blogging a fraction of the time.
I was tormented by the question, "Where could I be now if I had done this 6 years ago?"
It was pretty depressing.
And then I was in a session (I don't remember which one) and Carmen from Mom to the Screaming Masses said this: "We need to stop comparing our insides to others' outsides."
It was a lightbulb moment.
Frankly, there were good reasons I had not been business-minded and purposeful in my blogging up until then. I was struggling with motherhood. I was struggling with our current work and living situation. Truthfully, in the summer of 2007, I was struggling to stay alive. Simply put, blogging served a different purpose for me during those 6 years than it did for the women I met who were making money. My reality was vastly different than theirs.
I was doing myself a huge disservice by comparing their "outsides" to my "inside."
You are you. I am me. Amazing Blogger over there is them. I've been at this blogging thing a long time and I'll tell you what, back in the day, blogs were a bit rough around the edges. But now? Many are polished, spit-shined, photoshopped, staged and nothing short of lovely. (Anyone else ever feel like a failure and loser?)
Now, I'm not knockin' blogs and I hope it doesn't come across that way. After all, I'm a blogger who's trying to make a living at this. I like that bloggers are taking blogging seriously and I think it's great that increased income has allowed for higher quality a better user experience. I am a huge fan of excellence and doing things well.
But never forget that what you see on the screen is not the whole picture.
Never forget that the people behind the blogs are, well, people…with unorganized cupboards, unmanaged time schedules (ahem!), cranky children (ahem again!), painful stories, crafty train wrecks, struggling marriages, unpaid bills and burnt meat loaf. (Those are the examples I use, because those have all been me behind the scenes.)
Never forget that their story and their journey and their choices apply to them, not to you.
You are who you are for a reason. You are where you are a for a reason. Don't do what I do and beat yourself up for not being where someone else is. It's a colossal waste of time.
Appreciate everyone else's outside, but embrace your inside.
Run with it.
Starting today.
P.S. Just so you know, I wrote this post to myself more than I did to any of you…and it hasn't been the first time.
FURTHER READING:
- "How do you not get discouraged by the success of others?"
- Finding Your Voice Among Many
- How to Find a Unique Angle in a Crowded Niche
Photo by Search Engine People Blog
Here at BloggingWithAmy you'll find tips, tools & tutorials about blogging and websites. In plain English. Want to 
Awww, Amy!!!! That's where we met. I'll always remember that, and that we kept running in to each other, and I'm so glad we did. {Also, I'm glad that you like me, even though I was trying so hard not to throw up the whole time.}
P.S. Hi! Is this the first comment I've left here? I'm a bad bloggy friend…
Great posting! I am brand spankin' new to this blogging and am really getting into, but of course can not run with the big guys by no means. Double digit visits would be awesome at this point! lol You do great work, and I really enjoy your postings
Amy – so do you secretly have a camera and mic installed in my home? You won't believe how much I compare myself to others. Guess it's a woman thing -really.
My page loads have gone through the roof this week with some really nice posts and yet I have been telling my husband what a failure I feel like due to some really tough personal issues going on and then, of course, I'll see other bloggers who tell me how tired they are and yet their plans are to come out w/ 2 e books this year, start multiple series and they are pregnant with 1-2 little kiddos already.
My husband's advice – "knock it off – you are doing great!" – and then he reminds me that God, family and others are the priority.
Yes, the blog serves others, but come on. We all need to be true to ourselves and our situations.
Thanks for a beautiful post and for being so real. I try to be real w/ my readers too. Life is hard. That's just the way that it is.
Blessings!
Oh – sharing on my FB page.
Amen!!!!
Thank you, because I need to remind myself of this daily! I even started the year off with a post with my only "resolution" for the year…to stop comparing myself to others!
Blessings on you and your family, Amy!
I was privileged to sit at your table during the first ever Savvy Blogging dinner at Blissdom '10. You encouraged my heart then, and you continue to do it now. Thanks for the reminder that my life is different from everyone else's, and it's OK for my blog goals to be, too! I needed that today.
Thanks so much for this! I am a brand new blogger but it has been on my mind for a long time. I have so much to learn! I will remember to stick to my guns and not compare!
Thanks, just simply thanks. I've been trying to put my Comparison Monster to bed for a week now. I read a quote that says 'comparison is the enemy of contentment' and while it is so very very true, it is easy to know that with your head but still struggle with it in your heart! Thanks for the super post.
This post made me incredibly thankful I subscribe to your blog. I can't thank you enough for sharing.
Way to go, Amy! Great post! Enjoy what you're doing…and enjoy your littles while they are still little, now that they are not longer exhaustingly tiny.
Blessings,
Annie Kate
Sound and timely insight, Amy. Thank you for sharing and helping. Need this today.
I love this post. I have struggled with this. My blog has grown quite a bit but lately I am feeling "pressured" to be "labeled". Am I DIY, humor, family life, thrift ??? I actually talk about it in today's post because it has been many reader's questions. What is my label? My answer: My blog is about……me. I share thrift, family, DIY, humor and heart. If you are looking for just one topic, you are at the wrong place. Will I run some off…maybe…. but I think I drew them in falsely expecting what I was trying to "copy". Once I found out there were so many other blogs out there…..which I really didn't know…..mine became a "jumbly mess" of them all. I am stepping back. My blog needs clarity. When I look back, the times that my blog has grown the most is when I was just being "me". When I didn't know that so many other wonderful blogs existed. Great post. Good gracious…can you tell it hit home? I DO talk too much. Love, Me http://www.youaretalkingtoomuch.com
I totally agree. The same is true of my blog. The problem I have, though, is that if I'm bring me, that's how I get the big jumbly mess without clarity. I've debated whether I need three separate blogs! Help!
I love your Closet blogger analogy – And love the once my babies were bigger analogy – I am waiting for that! Great post overall
Awww, such a sweet post Amy. And so true. It's so hard to not feel like a failure every time you see someone else's success. And so easy to forget where you're at and why! Such the perfect reminder for me! Thank you!
Thank you for the insight and encouragement today Amy… I needed it. I always seem to compare myself with others. Thinking I should be doing what they're doing, how much they're doing, etc. But the truth is I need to be me and do what works for my blog and my readers.
I appreciate the reminder.
Thank you for this post, Amy. I struggle with comparing myself a lot lately. It's such a time and energy sucker. Glad I am not alone.
Wow..you have been my "somebody" for awhile now. Whenever I get an email asking how to start, I always point them in your direction. As for me feeling like a nobody, I used to…but quickly got over that when I accepted I'm not as die hard as most other bloggers in my genre. I greatly enjoy what I do, but I'm not doing it to be huge and I will not allow my blog to consume my life. That doesn't make me feel like a failure, because if anything, it makes me feel like a winner for having my priorities straight.
Amazing post, Amy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I know a lot of bloggers {myself included at times} who compare themselves with other bloggers, and that's always a no-win situation. I think it's fine to admire other bloggers, and it's even fine to take some pointers from them. But when we can't see the entire picture, it's not fair to us – or to them – for us to make judgments and assumptions. We're each who we are, and that's by God's design.
Amy, thank you so much for being real! There are so many days I feel so inadequate and the Lord reminds me of the big picture- Him and my family.
I'm just thrilled to have finally gotten my stupid blog set up correctly! That in and of itself should be considered a major accomplishment! Anyway, thanks for the post!
Thank you so much for this post. You have a way of really expressing how many of us feel inside. I am sharing this. Thanks again!!!
This is an honest and great post! My friend and I have been following a few of the same blogs for years and feeling as though we weren't doing enough with our little ones at home compared to others. Then one day my friend mentioned to me "Do you notice how many blogs have little ones in pajamas in their photos?" At the time I had to drop off my high school son at 7:00 with a 2 year old in tow. Just made my day to think we all have different sides of our lives and we don't always see them.
What a good topic Amy, it's true that I tend to compare my blog to others and I always wishes that I have something to say or have more traffic, more comments and so on…
But then, It use to be for fun that I started to blog and not the other way around, having to work for fun! Thank you for sharing
Sonia xo
Wow. I needed that today. I'm a recovering People-Pleaser and sometimes I get discouraged about how many things I could/should do better with my blog. Thank you so much for these great principals that effect every area of life.
Hey Amy! Great motivational post. The first time I heard that type of concept it was phrased like this: 'don't compare what you know about yourself with what you don't know about someone else'. That really woke me up too! Thanks for the reminder.
Love this! I have a hard time remembering not to compare, and I often find myself discouraged or beating myself up because I feel like I'm not trying hard enough. If I really threw myself into my blog I'm sure I could make it something bigger and more lucrative, but that doesn't fit with my circumstances right now. I know my time will come, I just need to remember to be patient.
Awesome! I am very new to this and started blogging just like you, kind of like a journal. Now, I am hoping to turn it into something more. One thing I want to do is stay authentic to who I am without scaring people away. Part of the reason I choose the name Chaotically Creative was because of how I feel most of the time. Chaos is a part of everyday life you either let it kill you or you embrace it. I am so thankful for your blog. I love the videos and hearing children in the background, I know it's real and your real and that makes all the difference.
Love this… Thank you for sharing. Calledtofoster.com started from friends who encouraged us to minister/help to other foster parents. Share advices, stories, etc. Its been a great experience and everything I've learned was from your site (thanks again). I'm still very much a new blogger. Sometimes I find myself it the compare game but then I get the reminder that it's not about numbers or even getting the investment back it's about helping foster families. I've said from day one, as long as it helps one person then it's all worth it and at that it's been successful.
Blessings your way!
Thank you Amy! As always, this is so timely for me!! My first blog didn't go anywhere, even after I put my heart and soul into it for two years. I think it's because I was constantly comparing myself to other women who had it all together. I'm going to try again, but just be ME and not compare.
You are such a blessing Amy! If I remember correctly, you were at Relevant 2010? (it was either you or someone who looked like you) During one of the session, you read the passage about picking up our mats. It really stuck with me. (and if it wasn't you, I'm sorry!!
)
I love this post! So real. And I think many people will agree and feel the same. Thanks for sharing!
This is such a great post! It is so hard to not compare yourself to others. I am trying to get my little craft blog up and running and it is so hard to not compare myself to the other amazing craft bloggers out there. But then, I have to remember, I have two small kids at home and I do what I can! Each of us has our own situation and strengths and weaknesses. This is a good thing to think about in all aspects of our life and try to focus on being happy on where you are right now.
I have given myself this pep talk more times than I care to admit. It's difficult not to compare when you're out there networking and seeing all the "pretty" put out there. I just have to remember I'm also trying to put the "pretty" out there and I'm sure there is someone who thinks I've got it going on.
just gotta say this. I love your blog title!!
good one, Amy, thanks! there's always someone more "successful" but we have to constantly remind ourselves that we're the only ones who can be us and like you said, we're us for a reason.
As a new blogger (One year in March!), I am constantly comparing myself to my favorie bloggers. Thanks you for the reminder that I'm ok just where I am. I am God's unique creation unlike any other. My success, or lack of, has nothing to do with the success of others.
Thank you so much for this post!! As a blog newbie. . . well, infant really! . . . . I'm looking forward to watching my blog unfold and count it as joy because it shares a little of my 'insides' – not because of my view count #'s.
so smart….so smart….so true… that is all – God bless and thank you Amy
I love the honesty! I've been blogging a while, too, but have only recently been serious about growing my blog. It can get discouraging at times. Thank you for being real!
Probably my favorite post I've ever read at Blogging with Amy:)
Thanks for the reminder and encouragement. I truly look forward to your posts.
Love,
Amanda
Are you in my head?!! This is exactly where I'm at. I've been blogging for 4.5 years and am hovering around the triple digit line for daily visitors. I look at other bloggers who also have a houseful of kids, homeschool, blog daily, are all over social media, work with big name sponsors and appear to maintain organized and clean homes. And then I look at myself. Still in my pjs at noon. Up all hours of the night to write because that's when it's quiet in my house. Dirty dishes piled all over the counters, etc…
And I wonder… what am I doing wrong? I'm working and working and see little progress. What is it other bloggers are doing that I can't seem to get right.
So, I'm taking your words to heart and reminding myself not to compare my blog/life to others'. But to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and working to reach my goals.
LOVE this, Amy. And you are NOT a failure.
This is my favorite post so far on this site – just what the doctor ordered. I kick myself all the time for getting into blogging so late in the game – trying to play catch up now with some of the other great bloggers seems overwhelming. Thanks for the encouragement – going to try to stop comparing!
This is so great Amy. MORE OF THIS. We come here to learn about blogging, but want to REALLY learn about YOU. You are so transparent in this post. I truly LOVED reading this and will make sure to share it!
Thank you again for writing THAT "rock bottom" post. You and I have talked about how that was an eye-opener for me.
I kinda feel like you did. This year, now that we have been out of ministry for a while and I am doing better, my husband challenged me to put effort into blogging and photography and stop putting it off. (yikes! I just actually ordered Photoshop cs5!)
Thanks for the encouragement here.
I love this! Thank you so much for the encouragement.
I love this post, Amy! Thank you so much for reminding me that "You are who you are for a reason. You are where you are a for a reason."
Amy,
This post is so honest and real, I will echo what others have said here: Thank you for reminding us to stop comparing ourselves to others.
In reading your My Rock Bottom post, I cried, it's just that moving. I LOVE that you ended it with: I hit bottom… and there was my Rock. As a sister in Christ, that is a powerful message that will stay with me today and on my journey as a blogger and a Christian.
Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to read in this moment!
Thank you so much for writing this. I haven't heard that quote and I love it…I think I need to put it up somewhere so it will remain a visible reminder.
I remember meeting you at Blissdom in 2010. I had read your earlier blog and immediately knew who you were. I felt honored to get to spend some time with you then and have really enjoyed watching you grow into the amazing blogger you are now!
Amy, I so needed to hear this right this minute. I am a new blogger. I have felt the Lord telling me for some time now that a window of opportunity was opening me up to try blogging. I spent last week reading all your "how to set up a blog post" got one up and "limping" and have written two posts. BUT, I can't seem to get the comment section to work on mine. I have tried deactivating all plug ins (except jetpack) I tried searching for help, but have found it no where, I feel like I am a blog failure, it seems like I have failed at the simplest of tasks. I have been saying all morning "Lord, how can you tell me to blog when I am this slow at this, I can't even get a comment box to work" . I am in tears once again. But I am not going to give up, I have got to find a way. I spent all my Christmas money registering a domain and getting hosting for a wordpress blog, if it's one without comments well then so be it. Perhaps God doesn't think I am up to handling comments right now, and when He does, I guess I will. For now I will just keep inching forward,
So timely and so true! Thank you for your honesty, Amy.
My first visit to your blog! Thanks for the words of encouragement. It is so easy to compare anyrhing and everything to other people but so important to just be "you."